Was doing a variation on salsa dancing last night at a 30th in the Mint Bar. I use the term dancing lightly. Savage swaying might be more appropriate.
There is some absurd self-consciousness built-in to the Irish psyche. It is sad and depressing. The Latino and Spanish contingency present shook and swayed those hips, spun or were spun at high velocities, clutched or were clutched at alarming levels of intimacy. Alarming for the Paddies.
The blokes among us would not grace the dance floor until sufficient levels of alcohol were drunk and even then they had difficulty placing their hands on a woman's hip. The ladies couldn't possibly be seen sweating on a dance floor.
One Irish jingle was played during the night and two of us took the floor in a fantastic spoof of Riverdance which garnered a few claps of applause more in sympathy than anything else one suspects. Service was immediately resumed and hips shifted effortlessly from side to side.
One noted that if an Irish bloke danced like a Spanish guy he'd be accused of groping but when a Spanish bloke did it he was fantastically limber. And they were; hips don't lie.
Saturday 15 March 2008
Tuesday 11 March 2008
Vienna...
"Transport 21, meet Vienna."
"Vienna, this is Transport 21. Could you teach them a thing or two about transport?"
Ah; 1 Mozart, 2 Wagners, 3 Strauss brothers; I present Vienna. A city with a population of 1.6 million, according to the bus tour. The lads and lassies who junket in citadels foreign should be sent to Vienna. On a plate is what one needs outputted from Transport 21. 1 Dart line, 1 Dublin Bus system and 2 Luas lines that do not connect is the starting point. Join the dots lads to get from A to B. Here is a city that has it all, buses, trams, an underground system and plenty of green spaces.
We are at the tail end of our famed Celtic Tiger I assume. While cavorting around Vienna for 48 hours, I realised that instead of lowering taxes during this economic flush, the government should have done the exact opposite and raised them. Of course they didn't have the cojones. No doubt it would have been termed "political suicide", a term consistently bandied about by the media. Nonetheless wouldn't it have been nice to have something to show for those years, rather than a half-arsed Luas that joins nothing and goes nowhere?
"Vienna, this is Transport 21. Could you teach them a thing or two about transport?"
Ah; 1 Mozart, 2 Wagners, 3 Strauss brothers; I present Vienna. A city with a population of 1.6 million, according to the bus tour. The lads and lassies who junket in citadels foreign should be sent to Vienna. On a plate is what one needs outputted from Transport 21. 1 Dart line, 1 Dublin Bus system and 2 Luas lines that do not connect is the starting point. Join the dots lads to get from A to B. Here is a city that has it all, buses, trams, an underground system and plenty of green spaces.
We are at the tail end of our famed Celtic Tiger I assume. While cavorting around Vienna for 48 hours, I realised that instead of lowering taxes during this economic flush, the government should have done the exact opposite and raised them. Of course they didn't have the cojones. No doubt it would have been termed "political suicide", a term consistently bandied about by the media. Nonetheless wouldn't it have been nice to have something to show for those years, rather than a half-arsed Luas that joins nothing and goes nowhere?
Tuesday 4 March 2008
Random train stoppages and wheelchair access!
Thought I'd be all green and stuff yesterday... you know do my bit for the environment seen as I don't have the funds for a hybrid Lexus! SO, decided to hop on the train into Connolly instead of taking the jenmobile. Flew in, €4.30 or €4.50 or something like that, pretty reasonable, considering 2 hours in the Ilac Centre costs over a fiver. Only annoying aspect was that the lift outside wasn't working. Decided to bring buggy down escalators. The downward bound escalator wasn't working either! Went back into the station and couldn't find a lift. Asked lady at information how to get out, she said there was lift at platform 4. Had to go back through the ticket area, not copping that that was hardly the way out... obviously it wasn't! Asked the fellow on the ticket exit area and finally found one inside along with another lady who was in a similar predicament. So for a 25-30 minute train journey, another 10 minutes were spent trying to get out of the station!
Headed back to Connolly for the 14.52 train. CANCELLED! Along with a train to the Castleknock direction. Was listening to the radio early in the morning and there was no mention of rolling stoppages. Anyhow, dude in the station told a blatant lie to me when he said that there was a problem with the train. When I asked would the next train, an HOUR LATER, be alright, he said yes, it was a train specific problem! HELLO!!! I learnt, when I eventually got home, that his brethern would rather vent their frustration on their customers, than going through mediation channels! Looking around the station at that hour I deduced two things, 1) the owners of the shops in the station must jump for joy when trains are cancelled as their sales increase unexpectedly for that day and 2) cancelling trains at that hour of the day affects mostly parents with young tots and older people, people with less muscle in the grand scheme of things. That's obviously why that time is chosen!
Train finally arrived an hour later. Forgot that it started at Pearse! Was chock-a-block with kids! So thus had to stand all the way home! Got to Donabate, and have to say, having driven a buggy around the place for the last 2 years, I really feel for anyone in a wheelchair! There is no quick way out of Donabate if you can't use the stairs! One has to go all the way around where the new car entrance which adds an extra 5 mins to one's journey!
Suffice to say, feck the environment, feck the cost. If I'd had the car, I would have been home by 15.00 as opposed to 16.45 on poxy Iarnród Éireann.
Headed back to Connolly for the 14.52 train. CANCELLED! Along with a train to the Castleknock direction. Was listening to the radio early in the morning and there was no mention of rolling stoppages. Anyhow, dude in the station told a blatant lie to me when he said that there was a problem with the train. When I asked would the next train, an HOUR LATER, be alright, he said yes, it was a train specific problem! HELLO!!! I learnt, when I eventually got home, that his brethern would rather vent their frustration on their customers, than going through mediation channels! Looking around the station at that hour I deduced two things, 1) the owners of the shops in the station must jump for joy when trains are cancelled as their sales increase unexpectedly for that day and 2) cancelling trains at that hour of the day affects mostly parents with young tots and older people, people with less muscle in the grand scheme of things. That's obviously why that time is chosen!
Train finally arrived an hour later. Forgot that it started at Pearse! Was chock-a-block with kids! So thus had to stand all the way home! Got to Donabate, and have to say, having driven a buggy around the place for the last 2 years, I really feel for anyone in a wheelchair! There is no quick way out of Donabate if you can't use the stairs! One has to go all the way around where the new car entrance which adds an extra 5 mins to one's journey!
Suffice to say, feck the environment, feck the cost. If I'd had the car, I would have been home by 15.00 as opposed to 16.45 on poxy Iarnród Éireann.
M50 Nightmare
Driving along in my automobile
Map beside me, and I at the wheel
Road torn up mile after mile
My anger running wild...
The M50 is an absolute disaster area. Try driving on that baby at night and good luck to you if you come off it not feeling slightly confused!
Drove to Firhouse on Monday last for an 8pm match.
Got through the toll-bridge, carpark city, exited for Lucan as cars were whizzing up that lane. Thought I'd be smart and go up to the lights and back down the other side back onto the M50. Didn't realise that the layout changed completely. Ended up heading towards town. Pulled a Ueeee and got back onto the M50.
Traffic moved again. Diggers and trucks everywhere. Went by old Naas Road exit and wondered how you get there now as it was all blocked up with trucks!
Thanked my lucky stars that I wasn't heading to Ballymount as I was in the right-hand lane with a concrete wedge between me and the slow lane and thus would have missed that exit!
Thought I was the starlet of a movie set there were that many bright lights aimed directly at me. Blinded by the light, blinded by the light!
Made it to Firhouse eventually, but wondered about the level of sign-posting or lack thereof!
NOW, I fully understand how there are crashes on the blasted thing, that take out whole swathes of the city in one go, with such regularity! Even if you're in the correct lane at the correct speed, you could end up someone's ar$e in a flash if they pull across in front of you with haste having suddenly spotted their exit!
It won't be long now before employers start recruiting locally to boost morale in their offices to stop the M50 Moaners!!!
Map beside me, and I at the wheel
Road torn up mile after mile
My anger running wild...
The M50 is an absolute disaster area. Try driving on that baby at night and good luck to you if you come off it not feeling slightly confused!
Drove to Firhouse on Monday last for an 8pm match.
Got through the toll-bridge, carpark city, exited for Lucan as cars were whizzing up that lane. Thought I'd be smart and go up to the lights and back down the other side back onto the M50. Didn't realise that the layout changed completely. Ended up heading towards town. Pulled a Ueeee and got back onto the M50.
Traffic moved again. Diggers and trucks everywhere. Went by old Naas Road exit and wondered how you get there now as it was all blocked up with trucks!
Thanked my lucky stars that I wasn't heading to Ballymount as I was in the right-hand lane with a concrete wedge between me and the slow lane and thus would have missed that exit!
Thought I was the starlet of a movie set there were that many bright lights aimed directly at me. Blinded by the light, blinded by the light!
Made it to Firhouse eventually, but wondered about the level of sign-posting or lack thereof!
NOW, I fully understand how there are crashes on the blasted thing, that take out whole swathes of the city in one go, with such regularity! Even if you're in the correct lane at the correct speed, you could end up someone's ar$e in a flash if they pull across in front of you with haste having suddenly spotted their exit!
It won't be long now before employers start recruiting locally to boost morale in their offices to stop the M50 Moaners!!!
So much for G-shock...
In order to get a battery for a Casio G-shock watch that hadn't functioned for years, (MUCH needed to see how fast I am 2 months into my Great Run preparations, wawawa) I was told that it must be sent to Casio in order to maintain its water-proof status and it would take up to 4 weeks. A load of baloney I thought but I had no alternatives as a number of jewellers refused to change it themselves.
The damn watch was returned to me yesterday, with no charge, and I was told that it wasn't the battery that was at fault. There is a problem with internal parts, which now no longer exist and thus the watch cannot be repaired.
The watch is no more than 10 years old. Do watches not last for life any more? Am I the only idiot in this age of don't repair it, buy a new one mentality that expects a product to last longer than a couple of years?
Being the moany moanerson that I am, I wasn't prepared to accept this nonsense without some form of fight. By "fight" I mean a catty email to the manufacturer which would probably result in diddly squat but at least my frustration would have been vented.
AND THEN, this morning I take the watch out of the envelope that it was returned in, to find the model number for the aforementioned moany mail, AND of course, behold and lo, the frigging thing is functioning!!!
So, what do I do? Do I wait and hope that it lasts for a while? Long enough to figure that it takes me half an hour to do 3 miles so really I'm not actually in need of a stopwatch at all! Or do I go back to the much revered jeweller and waste my time trying to figure out what went wrong?!
The damn watch was returned to me yesterday, with no charge, and I was told that it wasn't the battery that was at fault. There is a problem with internal parts, which now no longer exist and thus the watch cannot be repaired.
The watch is no more than 10 years old. Do watches not last for life any more? Am I the only idiot in this age of don't repair it, buy a new one mentality that expects a product to last longer than a couple of years?
Being the moany moanerson that I am, I wasn't prepared to accept this nonsense without some form of fight. By "fight" I mean a catty email to the manufacturer which would probably result in diddly squat but at least my frustration would have been vented.
AND THEN, this morning I take the watch out of the envelope that it was returned in, to find the model number for the aforementioned moany mail, AND of course, behold and lo, the frigging thing is functioning!!!
So, what do I do? Do I wait and hope that it lasts for a while? Long enough to figure that it takes me half an hour to do 3 miles so really I'm not actually in need of a stopwatch at all! Or do I go back to the much revered jeweller and waste my time trying to figure out what went wrong?!
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